Not until I heard this song again on the radio today. And I totally related to the lyrics.

You can watch the video here. (And, because it’s Eminem, there is explicit contents.)

(Oh, gosh! I just watched the video! Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan stars in it!)

(Not like I’m a fan of either, but, still, wow!)

Not many frequent here any more. I don’t blame them since I did not make the time nor effort to actually maintain the bond. So, if you read past archives, you will notice that I don’t really blog really deep and personal stuff. Usually it’s about my random days or something I want to share or pictures I want to post.

I guess having 8974597834 hours to kill just puts your gears in your mind to work. So, beware, it may be a long, random, (perhaps) boring and wordy post.

I guess it was something that has been bugging me slowly over the past half year or so. Or maybe for the past year or two. (Darn, I’m really bad with timings ever since I started working late.) I know I’m drifting away. Not just from God or my family, but also from my dearest and closest friends that treasure.

I blame the lack of time. But maybe that’s just a bad excuse. I know I don’t really share. I’m not much of a person who shares a lot of things. I share a bit of everything to every other person. I talk with my 7ners. We laugh, we chat, but they’re just things to keep everyone posted: schooling and working; single; having a complicated past relationship; not on very good terms with family; yes, very busy…

I remember a few years ago when we (7ners) felt that PK was drawing away from us. (No offense, I’m not bringing up bad, old memories. Just pulling an example.) We were all rather upset and frustrated. So we found a day, gathered everyone and sat down to talk to her. We wanted to know what was going on and what was wrong. The ending was good. We were all glued back together again.

Now I feel like I’m her. I think I know it. I’m not sure if they do, too. And if they do, I’m ignorant of that. Sometimes I wish I can explain myself. Sometimes I want to apologise. But I am not even sure what is going on, let alone trying to explain something that I don’t even understand yet.

Saying that I am trying would not be truthful. But saying that I did not bother would be a lie as well. I don’t expect anyone to understand. I can only say that I’m still figuring things out.

The reason why I’m actually typing all these because I feel very bad for missing out on CJ’s birthday celebration earlier this month. (Well, and also after reading everyone’s blogs on the fun I was missing out that night.)

Okay, so, end of emo part. On a random note, I hate karma. On the other side of that random note, the gods of time are still playing their stupid jokes on me.

“Good evening.”
“Good night.”

To end off in a happier tone, Happy Birthday Mark and Luke! I always have this problem every year where I want to text you two “Happy Birthday” but have to rack my brains so that I won’t send the exact same message to the both of you. I’m sorry Luke, but as Mark’s your older twin, he will always receive my text first

Happiness and excitement will never be able to express how I felt yesterday the moment the buzzer went off.

Anyway, let me explain. We played another five matches in the weekend and we lost all of Saturday’s games. However, my team wasn’t too upset about it since we did not feel like we played very badly. In fact, we were laughing over the funny and amusing stuff that happened during the matches over our debriefing.

On Sunday, we were up against NUS again for the IVP category. We lost 1-3, but, we felt pretty good over that single goal

Then it was a six-hour wait till our next match in the afternoon. I spent it by sleeping, eating, watching a match or two and talking with Siao Jia. I think the afternoon sun kind of sapped up our energy because by the time we got into our boats, Jolene went, “I feel like sleeping.”

We were playing against NUS again but this time, it was in the Opens category. We drew a game with them last week in the first round robin.

Our first goal was so sudden that everyone was so surprised. I think it was because when that goal was scored, most of my teammates were already heading back to defend. Plus, it was within the first minute of the game.

I guess Joycelyn getting the first ball always throws the NUS team off. Not to mention we got the first goal in

Poi! We did it! Our attack plan worked! Finally!

I did not see our second goal (since I was capsized underwater) but my team told me it was such a beautiful shot over the keeper’s paddle When they scored a goal, we felt that we simply cannot let them score another because drawing this game would be quite pointless when all we want is to win.

So when the score was 2-1, the countdown from 10 started and we had the ball in our possession, we all could feel that we were going to win this match. So when the buzzer went off, all of us were screaming with joy. Geok Cheng threw her paddle; I banged the boat (I hoped that wouldn’t cause too much damage on that boat!).

When we got off the boats, Lilin went around hugging us (emo kid! haha), Teresa still kept screaming now and then, we were all so happy and we kept giving our shrieks of joy. Even Stanley gave us the thumbs-up sign. And we have to really thank him for coaching us

And, of course, how can we ever forget The Man who believed and supported us all the way? Kang Jun deserves every bit of credit and praise. He has always stood up for us, supported us, encouraged us, taught us, and believed in us. For everything, thank you ??!

Perhaps another reason why we were so elated was because earlier on, NUS won TP to clinch 3rd place for the IVP category. And I guess it is a tad mean to be stealing their joy

Team hug!

Geok Cheng, Joan, Lizhen, Lilin, Teresa, Jolene, Me, Joycelyn and Kang Jun

I ♥ my team

Another exciting thing is that Jolene and I got our Crumpler bags! At a cheaper price, too We got the Navy/White/Red The Fux Deluxe bag. So exciting, sister!

Remember that Nadine’s agenda for you girls:

1. Kick Naddy’s ass and whack Naddy’s head as hard as you can when she has the sian diao face. (Stoning face counts as well.)
2. Constant whackings on Naddy’s head will do her good. (Be careful of concussion.)
3. Remind Naddy not to look for anyone in the viewers’ stand.
4. Tell Naddy how much you love her.

But please beware:

• Push Naddy into the pool and get ready for a flare up.
• Pull her braids and she’ll throw her temper at you.
• Say “F you lah!” in Naddy’s face (whether you mean it or not) will result in serious consequences.

Naddy loves all of you. I’m serious.

I can’t believe that amidst all that’s going on, Nelly Furtado is my source of relief from all these… mess.

Anyway, Moonlight is buried in Jun Wei’s garden. We both know she will be somewhere happier. Hammy Heaven, I’m sure.

One of the things I hope to achieve this year in 2007 is to blog more regularly. So far, it’s not going as planned, I’m afraid. It seems like too many things have happened between the last post and this. Too many events, too many feelings. Too confused, lost and hurt. But, gah, I wish I could do something about… everything.

I watched Death Note 2: The Last Name on Wednesday night. It was a nice movie that I’ll probably only watch it once. I think I still prefer the manga better.

I love Absolut Vodka And the SPCT chalet from Wednesday to Friday sure provided me with Raspberri and Vanilla The thing is that I kinda mixed it with ice cream soda not to mention having Chivas with jasmine tea, I got a little too tipsy I got better in the end but not after vomiting, suffering chills and a splitting headache. Meeh. I wonder how everyone could put up with me

Dancing with Joan in the chalet was pretty fun But I hope Mervin won’t go around showing everyone the video he took. It’s really embarrassing I guess that’s where I first heard “Maneater” and “SexyBack” from Lex’s cellphone. Now these two songs are on my playlist.

Friday night was an overnight date with the 7ners plus boyfriends at Albert Court Hotel. It was quite a reunion as Pei Wen and Jun Wei were back from Australia (and since Up swore he would not go for another 7ners gathering till Jun Wei was back, he’s definitely glad the latter’s back) not to mention we have Qing Xiang and Zhao Ming joining us. Gosh, labelled new blood by the others

Elisia, Me, Perrine, Soffie sis
Jo, PK, CJ, Pwen

Perrine, chief organizer of the whole event, along with Elisia, CJ and Pwen had made the rest of us play some couple games which were really fun as well as it broke the ice among everyone. As long as there’s Up and alcohol in the same room, there will always be Up’s drinking game.

I believe no one can ever forget Pei Wen’s reply to the how-are-you? question:

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Due to the previous night’s post-drinking session as well as the fact that I was sneezing (almost) non-stop, I skipped this round

Lacking sleep since Wednesday, I could not stay up with the girls for a chat-and-gossip session. So I kind of nodded off around 4 in the morning as I wanted to go for training the next day. But I woke up with such a lousy leaky nose that I decided that I needed the rest more than the training session.

Sunday was a lousy day. Period.

I had a mock interview for a module on Monday so I had to borrow Jolene’s shirt since we were about the same size. When she found out I was going to wear a skirt (technically, there were shorts beneathe the skirt) she got so excited and demanded to see me in my formal attire I obliged her and here’s the picture Sue helped us take:

My interview went well. I guess it’s because I knew my lecturer and she is a rather timid person

After class, I met Jun Wei to watch Night at the Museum. Although it’s funny, it’s a pretty touching movie. I can even say if it was any less funny, I could just bawl in the theatre

–
Thank you for being there when I needed someone.

Less than 30 minutes into 2007, I lost my Motorola E398 (the 4th time I lost my main line). We (Jun Wei and I) got to Harbourfront MRT station just to find out that there are no more trains connecting to my home area.

Because of the Countdown party at VivoCity, God knows how many people were swarming the area, trying to get a cab. We had to walk a good distance away from the crowd before flagging a cab (not to mention we had to ‘snatch’ it from those who walked along) to get home.

I got home to find one of my babies very weak and barely able to stand without shaking. How my heart broke when she crawled unsteadily towards the carrot I gave her. I ended up holding her and feeding her the carrot.

I was exhausted but I did not want to sleep. I had this uncanny thought and fear that Moonlight would be gone once I wake up. It has happened to my previous hamsters before.

So I read Roswell fanfiction online to keep me up. By 7.30, I checked on Moonlight one more time before resting on the sofa near her tank.

I dozed a bit and was awakened by my sisters three hours later. The first thing they told me as I looked at them with sleepy eyes was “I think one of your hamsters is dead”.

The moment I heard that, I jumped out and looked into her tank.

She was gone. Just like that. Lying there in an odd position for a hamster beneathe the water bottle… My heart just broke.

She’s still there. I can’t bear to touch her. I can’t bear to throw her out. I just can’t bear the fact that she’s gone.

I’m sorry to all who reads a depressing entry for a new year. I can only wish everyone a half-hearted “Merry New Year”.